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Reconnecting with an Acquaintance from my travels in France

April 10, 2011

A lot of interesting spiritual stuff has happened this week, apparently “all of a sudden”. . . but not really. I’ve sat down to try to write about it three times from three different angles, and simply run aground each time. It’s important to me, though, so here I am trying again. Maybe if I try telling it simply, without lots of detail or digressions into various pieces of backstory, it will work better.

I bought a deity statue last Monday. This was unusual for me in a couple of ways. I don’t have many, for one thing. For another, this was of a god I’ve barely ever contacted in a pantheon outside of my general work. It had just been. . . tugging at me each time I visited the store for several months.

Per the manufacturer, it’s Hermes with some Etruscan styling. Despite knowing that, it feels really Gaulish to me. I finally gave in and bought it with the idea that I would use it as a representation of Lugos, who is very often syncretized to Mercury in Gallo-Roman artifacts.

That really opened the floodgates. I spent most of the rest of the week in compulsive research, with occasional bouts of abstracted light trance/deity connection.

I don’t know what I can coherently say about the relationship at this point; it’s really been an experience unlike any I’ve had before in my numerous years of practice. It’s definitely a strong connection on both sides.

I’ve had issues in the past of “needing” to have deity contact fit a clear pattern right away, demanding full exposition so that I could see where things were going, and pushing for matters to go the way I thought they should.

I’ve also been very rigid in the boundaries I’ve set and the terms I’ve used to build my spiritual identity. I am a this-and-such, so I will interpret my experiences in whatever light I feel necessary to affirm my remaining a this-and-such. If something big enough to shake my paradigm comes along, I will rush to construct a new identity centered on my initial impressions of the new thing that is the focus of my attention, so I’m not left out in limbo without a clear idea of who I am supposed to be.

Maybe an increased tolerance for ambiguity and a willingness to finally surrender some degree of my grasping for control has opened the way for something new and interesting to come into my life. Or, rather, for something that’s been in my life and waiting for the right conditions to begin to manifest.

I visited the city of this god – ancient Lugdunum, modern Lyon – three years ago. It’s clear that what’s happening now follows on from my exploration there, even though at the time I wasn’t aware of establishing contact.

I’ll be very interested to see where this all leads, although I’m not in any rush to get there. That might be exactly what’s necessary for there to be any possibility of ever arriving. I find it rather ironic that it was in Lyon that I learned to loosen my white-knuckled grip on the American definitions of how time should work, and started to understand the cultural relativity of urgency and importance. I thought that just applied to everyday life, but perhaps the true lesson runs deeper. . .

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. April 10, 2011 4:47 PM

    In some way, I can relate to what you’re going through, as lately I’ve been connecting with Mercury. He just rushed in and made Himself at home, quickly clicking with many aspects of my life (studies, physical exercise, humour, divination, the habit of guiding friends and strangers around places I know, etc.). However, He’s also making me wonder about my most intimate spiritual identity, which is becoming less single-focused on Freyr to become more multi-focused on a personal triad.

    I’d say you’re doing the right thing in letting go some your control and allowing the god to do His part in working your relationship. Be open, be aware, and be ready: if Lugh has the same tricksting character as Mercury or Hermes, you’re in for a taste of His very particular sense of humour ;)

    • April 12, 2011 9:57 AM

      Well, I like triads, but that may just be the Celt in me showing through! ;)

      Lugos doesn’t seem so tricksterish to me yet as Mercury or Hermes, but I’m keeping alert – I know it’s a possibility! It’s interesting to hear that Mercury clicked with you so quickly, since that parallels what I’ve been feeling with Lugos. Shared gnosis is useful. :)

      Do you sense any communication/connection between Mercury and Freyr? It seems to me that Freyr would be the sort to cheerfully share, but I’ve only really encountered Him tangentially, so it’s hard to know.

      • April 16, 2011 2:54 AM

        Well, so far I haven’t noticed any communication between the two. My focus has been on assuring that Freyr doesn’t leave the house, so to speak. When you have a new and fascinating god in your life, especially one Who makes Himself at home so quickly, it’s easy to over focus on Him and not give enough room or attention to other gods. So I’m trying to work a new balance where there’s enough care and attention to go around.

        This said, they do share an ithyphallic nature. Cattle may be another thing in common, as well as wealth (even if the latter may come differently for Freyr and Mercury). And then there’s something about frith and messengers, in that the latter is assumed to be protected against aggression due to his (much needed) ability to move back and forth between opposing camps. They’re bridge builders, in a way, so I assume They’re able to do that between Themselves, too.

  2. April 11, 2011 7:15 PM

    You know, it took me many years to realize how much Serapis was a part of my own spiritual life and experience–really, it didn’t hit home properly until well into 2008 (right around the Serapeia, which is April 25!), when I realized that almost every time I’d been somewhere abroad, I either saw Serapis in a museum, or Serapis was honored in the location where I had been (York, London, Bonn), and it wasn’t until I saw my first real Antinous, in Seattle at SAM, and Serapis wasn’t far behind him, that I realized how much the “super-syncretism” of both deities was connected in myriad ways…and that’s even before I knew there was the janiform Antinous-Apis in the Vatican! ;)

    So, if it only took you a few years to realize that Lugus has been calling, as opposed to the decade plus that it took me for Serapis, you’re doing pretty well! :)

    I look forward to hearing how this develops for you!

    • April 12, 2011 11:04 AM

      I don’t know that I’d say He’s been calling long – it feels more like I may have roused a bit of interest during my visit and been “bookmarked” for future interaction if/when the circumstances were favorable.

      (I have a mental model of how this sort of thing works that is probably too detailed to go into here – maybe it’s a post of its own.)

      As I’ve mentioned, I had some rigid negative attitudes I’ve held for a long time that would tend to preclude my working effectively with Lugos, that have really only been reconsidered in light of my experiences with the Ekklesia Antinoou, all of which have occurred since my return from France. So, things often happen at the time they are supposed to happen, for reasons only clear in retrospect.

      I’m just happy that it’s happened now. This gives me about a year before the trip to France that I was already planning, to do more research and reflection to make the best of the opportunity!

      • April 12, 2011 4:50 PM

        You know, something that Thorn and I just talked about (on the upcoming podcast!) is that I had those various proto-experiences of Antinous from 1992 through 2000, and yet didn’t connect with him on those occasions. Had I been paying more attention, perhaps I would have…But, as Thorn pointed out, I may just not have been ready at those points, and other experiences had to occur first. (The ones in 1998 and 2000 seemed to come in more rapid succession…and then the next was in 2002, and of course the rest is history after that!)

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